My Mom

Moving forward is causing me to look back.  Downsizing does that.  Sorting through photographs to keep or toss, reading old letters.   

Up pops my mom in my musing.  Not easy.    It's that mother/daughter thing.  Love-hate, friend-competitor, playmate-parent.     Too many hats, too many dual roles, all threatening, or wonderful depending on the day or mood.  

When my mom was young she was beautiful and lively.  We lived in Ojai, California where she danced, I mean really danced.  She was a square dance caller, taught folk dance classes several time a week and performed from time-to-time.  Dance festivals and costumes consumed her, and our family.  

My mom, a playful, energetic woman

Wilma Abel,  mid 1940's

Wilma Abel, late 1940's

At the same time she danced, she  went back to school to get her teaching certificate.  If I wanted a real mom I didn't have one.  She was busy and involved and wanted so much more than parenting!  I think I could call my upbringing neglectful.    Yet, as I write the word neglectful, I recall her warm, soft hand on my sick-little-girl brow.  

My mom with my sister and I

 At a very young age I had a huge territory, probably about three square miles.  My girlfriend, Cara, and I traveled  by foot, bike or donkey all over that territory.  We explored, built forts and snacked from orchards.  No cell phones for checking in.  In fact,  no phone at all out in the country where we lived.  Despite the freedom I enjoyed, my mom was tough, designing the punishment to fit the crime.  Once, when I caused a fire by helping out, my punishment was to sit by the charred earth for several hours to make sure it didn't reignite.

My mom graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara when I was in 6th grade.   Boy, were we proud!  After her graduation we relocated to Auburn, California and she began her first teaching job at Placer Hills Elementary School.   Years later she retired from that same school.  

Wilma Abel, teacher
Placer Hills Elementary School

Moms bring out the "I'll never do that!" in their daughters.  I hit the "I'll never do that!" when my mom settled.  Settled into weight gain, an inactive life and sensible shoes.    She maintained an adventuresome spirit, but tampered way down.  Loving my mom was challenging for both of us, as I wanted her forever young.    That youthful mom of my early years, the dancing mom,  became my model.  I didn't let that model go easily.  

After my dad died, my mom settled even more.  Sedentary became the norm.  She remarried.  My stepdad was a nice man and took good care of my mom in her last illness but he was terribly dull.  I suspect my mother thought so too but by now she didn't want to be alone.  She settled deeper.

My mom died a horrible death, loosing her ability to walk or talk.  My feisty kick-up-her-heels mom  became completely helpless and dependent on others.   But, from time-to-time, she still liked to chase a sunset, so we did.    One of her caregivers giggled with her to the very end.  It was beautiful. 

I hope my dying breath will be a giggle.

~~~

"Gratitude is the heart's memory." 

  ~ French Proverb

Zig Zag Saga

While others our age are settling in, we're looking for adventure.  Wanderlust is nipping at our heels.  Many of our friends, back in the 60's, were zig zagging down the roads of America in Volkswagen buses.  Others were hitchhiking through Europe.  We, on the otherhand, were raising babies, fulfilling military obligations and getting educations.  We didn't zig zag back then, much to our parents' relief.  

But, now, we want to jump into the abyss of adventure.  Our first retirement idea was to move to Ecuador.  Many of you were informed of these plans, and one year ago we set off to investigate.  With delight we explored!  We enjoyed the fine architecture and fun-filled public markets.  The people were warm and friendly and the countryside beautiful.  Miles of streets were explored, and, despite our language limitations, we settled in nicely for a month of engrossing Ecuadorian life.

Parade in Cuenca

Quito Street

Church in Loja

Riding in Vilcabamba

We met expats and learned of their joys and difficulties.    We made every effort to feel the country and how our lives would live if we relocated.  Our experiences were positive and encouraging, with the major exception being the smell of meat in the markets.  But the coming and going was horrible.  My digestive tract troubles did not help the flying experience, but even  trying to account for that difficulty, it was awful.  

Then we thought about our family and friends and changed our plans.  Way too many grueling hours between Ecuador and the people we love.  Instead, with an amazing switch, we moved from the Ecuador idea to becoming full-time van travelers.  Our Thistle Adventure was born

Thistle

The details of life, like selling our home, are making for a slow transition, but we're ready.  We've taken "practice" trips, and are about to set off on another.  Our living-really-small solutions are working well and aside from some mishaps with the van (solely our fault) it is working very well.  

In early February, once we wrap up doctor and dentist appointments, we will head south.  Friends will be visited in Ojai, Anza Borrego, Santa Fe and Patagonia.  We will explore Joshua Tree, Death Valley  and the Mojave Desert.   We will bask in sunshine.

The zig zag saga will unfold.

~~~

"The path to your dreams is rarely linear.  You gotta zig zag your way to happiness."

~Karen Salmansohn

Ready for Four Muddy Feet

In this world of big box stores, supermarkets the size of football fields, and mass marketing of low grade merchandise, it is refreshing to locate a small local company with a quality product.   

Thistle has upholstered seats, vulnerable to dirt, wear and tear. How easily we could soil or rip these attractive seats, especially given our four-footed friend, Benton.  Initially, we were thinking slipcovers, but they would not work well, limiting access to gear pockets, arm rests, and under seat storage.  

Finally we decided to just put a blanket on the seat for Benton and be done with it.  In explaining this to a friend, she suggested Mambe Waterproof Blankets, designed for a wide range of uses, such as pet blankets, furniture covers, outdoor picnic blankets and survival blankets.   

We purchased three.  Two are small, 24" x 24", to cover the front seats and a third, 70" x 90",  to cover the back seat.  Benton's muddy feet?  No problem!

 Mambe blankets  have a different color on each side,
with waterproofing in-between

Thistle seat throws 

In ordering, I was having trouble with the site accepting my credit card so I called the company. A real live human being answered my call, and with great patience solved the problem.   

Garnishing this fine product, the order was accompanied with a handwritten note.   We enthusiastically recommend Mambe.

~~~

"Buy less. Choose well.  Make it last.  Quality, not quantity."

  ~Vivienne Westwood 

"…yep, it's a Good day!"

“Morning Short List

1. Woke up ✓
2. Air to breath ✓
3. Food to eat ✓
4. Roof over head ✓

...yep, it's a Good day!”

~Russell Kyle

Russell Kyle sums up life wonderfully for me -- the basics nicely met!  Then, when I throw in the trimmings of family, friends and community, I'm indeed blessed.   In reflecting on years past, I am grateful my life has been so rich.  I've never missed a meal, without intent, nor have I slept roofless, without intent, and I continue to wake up each day.     Yep, life is good.

The current teachings tell us we need to focus on today, don't look back and don't look forward.  Live  now, today!  Yet, how tasty the diversions.  Reveling in wonderful memories can be a delight.

Camping, family & Friends, 2014

Gathered for Brad & Yessi's wedding, family & friends, 2014

Brad & Yessi with wedding party, family & friends, 2014

Christmas dinner, family & friends, 2013 

Book group. friends, 2014

Looking forward is exciting as well.  Planning, anticipating, wondering, wandering, as we step out on our Thistle Adventure.

With the warmest of blessings…

Brad, Yessi, Ed & Fran

Happy Holidays! 

 May 2015 be a wonderful year! 

 Wishing each of you

Happiness!  Peace!  Good Health! 

&

Love!  

~~~

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

~ William Arthur Ward

My Dad

Our quickly approaching departure on our Thistle adventure has me pondering life.  You know, death, aging, family, health, all those easy topics.   So I got to thinking about my dad.

My mom and dad's wedding photo

In all the years my dad has been gone from our lives, I've never written about him.  I think about him, often, and yearn to have a conversation with him, but I've never written about him.     I miss his quick intellect and his gentle wise ways, and how, after a day in the garden, he'd squat, watching his plants grow, coffee in hand, cigarette dangling from his mouth, content.

George J. Abel, 1965

It's that darn cigarette that probably killed him.  That and those  poisons used in gardening back  then.  When he was young he worked as a commercial landscaper, spraying without washing his hands or face afterwards, never mind a mask.  And, those cigarettes!  Both he and my mom enjoyed smoking together and alone and all the time.  Pack a day folks, they were.   Unfiltered Camels.

When my dad was 59 he and my mom took leaves from their jobs, purchased a little Airstream, and headed out for a six month trip deep into Mexico.  On their return they were ecstatic,  delight was everywhere -- faces, postures, voices.

Working, saving, working, waiting, they had finally found a life that stimulated and pleased them both.   Then my dad started coughing.  A raspy, persistent cough that wouldn't go away.  My dad became very frail, my mom very frightened.  

Horrible news of lung cancer, emphysema and a long-ago damaged heart were all found during tests.  Surgery, Cobalt therapy, hospitalization and death occurred quickly.   He was dead in six months.  Gratefully, as he suffered so.  

I miss my dad.  I miss talking gardening.  I miss that he missed Brad's life.  I miss that Brad doesn't remember him.

Brad a year before my dad's death

I miss that Ed didn't meet him or know him.    I've wanted to share so much with him over the years but he died much too soon.  He told me he wasn't afraid of death only that he was sorry to leave us.  

So here I am, on the eve of our travel adventure, thinking about my dad.  Remembering how vast and deep he read -- Krishnamurti, Hesse, T.E. Lawrence.  And then there were the well-studied plant books, flowers pressed in the pages, smudged, dog-eared and broken down with hard use.   When hiking the Sierras he took a photograph of each wildflower he saw.   When my sister and I were young, my folks loved to go for  Sunday drives.  We'd all pile in the car and head for the hills.  It was back when facial tissue was dyed pastel colors.  Time-after-time, jerking suddenly to a stop, we'd jump out of the car, just to view another  rumpled-tissue "wildflower". 

At the end of the day, he loved nothing better than to gather around the fire pit and talk philosophy with family and friends.

My dad far left, me far right and my mom center.

There is so much more I could say about my dad.  But this is a blog, after all, not a memoir.    

~~~

"The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature."  

~ Antoine Francois Prevost

"You'll Look Sweet Upon the Seat of a Bicycle Built for Two"

Part of our travel plans are to ride our beloved Cannondale tandem as much as we can on as many back roads and Rails to Trails as we can find. We purchased our tandem several years ago, used,  from it's second owner.  It's no longer shiny and new but it is a very fine steed.

Seattle has three athletic "rites of passage":  climbing Mt. Rainier, running the Seattle Marathon and riding the STP.  Twice we've completed  one of those rites, the STP.  The STP is a 200 mile annual ride from Seattle to Portland, with about 10,000 of your closest biking buddies.  

Fran & Ed, STP Finish Line, Portland, OR

Group rides light a training-fire under us, so we sign up for a couple each year.  

The Chilly Hilly, a cold February ride on Bainbridge Island, is one of our favorite rides as a kickoff to the biking season. At 33 miles it's not a long ride, but it is a demanding ride, with steep ups and downs and challenging weather.

Waiting for the ferry after a Chilly Hilly ride.

We also like the  NW Tandem Rally rides.   This group is heavily into very cool equipment, like this bicycle built for four.

Plus, it's more of a family ride than the other rides we participate in.  Dogs, kids, old and young are out there on their bicycles built for two.   These rides are a good workout for our bodies and the equipment provides lots of eye candy.

N.W. Tandem Rally

On Whidbey Island you'll often see us riding our favorite loop, Langley to Maxwelton Beach, and back.  This ride is our stay fit ride.  It's a 17 mile loop on a mostly friendly road, with a perfect midway stop at the beach for a snack and terrific views.  

Maxwelton Beach

A bike rack must be added to Thistle to complete our travel needs.  Right now the bike rack of choice is the ATOC.  As the website claims, it is "Designed by a Rocket Scientist." Carrying a tandem is serious business.  It is difficult to load because it is large.  It is difficult to lift because it is awkward and heavy.  It needs to be upright on the back of the van, so it needs to be easily maneuvered to enable us to access the back doors on our van.  

ATOC photo - bike in loading position

We have tried Benton in the bike trailer a number of times but he's an ungrateful passenger, barking incessantly.  Will we take the trailer or not?  

Ed pulling Benton. 

The details for our travels started out as one big messy pile.  We're now closing in on our final decisions as departure grows closer.  Fortunately we still have some time to deliberate.  We won't be departing again until February, and then only for four months, or until we sell our home.  

Fran & Ed

~~~

"My two favorite things in life are libraries and bicycles.  They both move people forward without wasting anything.  The perfect day:  riding a bike to the library."

~ Peter Golkin

Beyond Pen and Paper

Blogs are phenomenal stay-in-touch tools.

My blog, like for many other bloggers, is my journal.   But, instead of the little locked book I had as a young girl, I publish this one for the entire world to see.  Mostly the world isn't interested, but friends and family are reading it, keeping me on my edit toes.  By publishing I also know I could become a common criminal if I broke copyright laws.  As William Feather said, "If we don't discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us."

When I post a quote I give credit.  Likewise, I try to respect copyright laws in regard to images, however, I've been guilty of small offenses.  I'm now in image stealing recovery, thanks to a good friend, author and blogger, Dan Petersen.  

Many artists will mark their images with a watermark to protect them.  I've always respected the watermarked images, but unmarked images I've "borrowed" on occasion.  Now I know better.  I will share only images I've cleared as "free to use or share."  Want more information?  See webIntegrity. 

Photo protected with watermark

Photo selected from Google's Advance Search and labeled
 "free to use or share"

Photo by Ed Anderson

Ed and I are often asked if we'll travel with our computer gear. Our answer is, yes!  First, we want to stay closely connected with family and friends so by using a combination of e-mail, blogging, texting, Skype, Facebook and our phones we should be thoroughly covered.  We'll want to research weather, bike paths, and current news.  We'll need maps, GPS and campground apps.   And, the most amazing part of all this is my i-phone will become our "personal hotspot", also known as tethering.   Wherever we have phone reception we will have internet.

I'm still stumbling and fumbling around using my i-pad and i-phone independently from their "mother ship", my desktop.  It's yet to be seen if I'll need a laptop too, but hoping not.  Unfortunately, this family of two is not in sync on computers so Ed will be using Microsoft and I will be using Apple.  We'll be packing lots of electronic gear.   Shoes, not so much.

~~~

"What a computer is to me is the most remarkable tool that we have ever come up with.  It's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds."

~ Steve Jobs, Memory and Imagination:  New Pathways to the 
Library of Congress